We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
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do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
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Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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