Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
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