just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
