I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize