6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize