Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
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