is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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