just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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