Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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