whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize