i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
