U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
