what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
only if we run a train.
done.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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