if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
