Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
