a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
