a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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