Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize