yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
