So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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