You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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