Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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