Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.