too bad you live with your parents still
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
