I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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