Your mouth is God's brothel.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
