..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
