I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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