I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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