Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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