12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
