I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize