PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...