Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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