Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.