I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?