Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody