so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
