I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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