and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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