If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
