i may or may not be watching the land before time
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize