But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
