Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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