so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
