Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Randomize
