I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
