We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
