Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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