Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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