no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
