I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
