her vagina looked like bernie madoff
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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