when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
