so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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