The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm too high and old for this...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
