No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
