Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
