No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
