He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize