What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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