In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize